Blast from the past

About a month ago, my past caught up with me. It was something unexpected and in a way, it came as a shock.

It all started when I had a dream about a guy I had personal relations in the past (i don't really like using the term ex). I can't exactly remember the details, however I do know it was nothing mushy.
I dreamt about him almost every night. And base on experience, if I dream about someone a lot, then I just know something terrible has happend.

I wasn't really sure how to get in touch with him considering we have not communicated with each other after we parted ways.I just can't text or call him, it was just not that simple.
However, I just can't let something like this pass as well. What if something terrible did happen to him, I could not just sit down and pretend that it's okey.
So, I did the next logical thing I could think of and texted our mutual friend to ask how he was doing. My friend told me his mom died and that I should call him to ask how he was doing.
I didn't know what to do, I was not prepared to do something as drastic as that. Besides, he already has a girlfriend and I did not want to stirr anything up. But my friend told me I was just over thinking things and that it was okey to text him.
It took me hours to compose a simple text message. I'd start typing something and then erase it again. And when I finally came up with the message, I didn't have enough courage to send it.I had so many questions in mind that I wasn't sure I wanted answered. What if he wouldn't like hearing from me? What if his girlfriend reads my message and they end up fighting? What if he texted back? And worst, what if he calls and I pick-up? What would I say? How would I feel?

I finally snapped out of my paranoia typed my message "I heard about what happend to your mom. I'm so sorry for your loss." I was so scared.
My hands were shaking when I pressed the send button. And when it finally said, message sent I wanted to hit cancel and take it back.
When I did not get any reply, I was relieved. I didn't need him to text back. Sending my condolences was all that mattered.
I went on with my daily chores when I felt my phone vibrate. My hands were trembling when I checked who the message was from. And when I saw his name on top, I almost fainted. I was okey with being ignored but I was not prepared for this.

Me: How are you?
Him: I'm coping.
Me: Is this okey? I don't want to cause any trouble between you and ur girl.
Him: It's fine, you don't need to worry.
Me: I wasn't sure this was okey-me texting you considering what happend.
Him: Life's too short for us to dwell on the past.
Me: Are you really okey? You know you can always talk to me right?
Him: I know. Im just not the type of person who talks about his emotions.
Me: I know. You have always been like that.
Him: I knew that sooner or later this would happen and that my mom would (pause). I just wasn't expecting it was going to be this soon.
Me: Just remember, you can talk to me anytime. If you need anything, anything at all just let me know.
Him: I know..Thanks.